The Backstory of Children's Classics: Part One

Wind Up Working in a Gas Station
An exchange from earlier today

Clerk 1: Can we ask you what you do for a living?

Me (setting soda on counter): Why?

Clerk 2: Because you look like someone I know that runs a salon.

Me (the HELL?!?): Ah, I see. Well, that's close. I work in scarves.

Clerk 1: Scarves? Like, you make scarves?

Clerk 2: Like for the winter time?

Me (heh): No no no. I work IN scarves. I'm an exotic dancer. Are you familiar with the Dance of the Seven Veils?

Clerk 1 and 2: ...

Me: Bye

Vonnegut Motivational Poster
(I whipped up today)

Jim the Sicilian (my father) Turns 75 Today

To celebrate, here's a recent conversation we had on Father's Day:


TIP (I said something that I cannot recall)

JTS (looks at me, looks at TYM and says): It's like he's talkin' outta Paper Asshole.

TYM: ?!?

JTS: You know what Paper is?

TYM: Of course.

JTS: You know what an Asshole is; you know, it makes the Candy Bars.

TYM: Er...uhm...yes.

JTS: Paper Asshole.

TIP (laughing)

My Life as a Card Game