Thursday, May 29, 2008

Praise (insert your Deity here) this Band/Album Doesn't Exist

Igloo Mishap's latest release:

Friday, May 23, 2008

Scatman Crothers would have Turned 98 today (if he were still with us)


Thursday, May 22, 2008

There may IN FACT now be Time for Love, Doctor Jones!

There was a Costume Contest held prior to the Premiere of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. 12 or so dudes dressed as Henry Junior, one kid dressed as a Jedi and one--ONE--kid dressed as Ke Huy Quan's alter-ego from The Temple of Doom; the mighty Short Round. I'm pleased to announce that Mister Round DID win said Contest and I was fortunate enough to score a pic with the Champ.

(a couple of dudes and I may have had a hand in his win...what with the chants of SHORT ROUND, SHORT ROUND, SHORT ROUND followed by memorable SR quotes like I'm Very Little! You cheat Very Big! and so on)

Friday, May 16, 2008

Rorschach (from WATCHMEN) head sketch with 'hidden' Zappa-Inspired Message

Jim Henson and Sammy Davis Junior both Died on this Date in 1990
Said sad events inspired the following exchange between me and a Cow-Orker:

Me: Today's a sad day in history. Both Jim Henson and Sammy Davis Junior died 18 years ago on May 16th.

CO: That is sad. They were both tremendous entertainers in their respective fields.

Me: Yes. Indeed. Did you know that they shared a bit of a connection?

CO: Um...I'd guess that Sammy appeared on Sesame Street or The Muppet Show or one of the Muppet Movies?

Me: Could be...but that's not the connection I'm thinking of.

CO: I have no idea.

Me: Well, as it turns out, the googly eyes that Jim Henson designed for a lot of his Muppets were inspired by the glass eye of Sammy Davis Junior. No shit. Think about it; Cookie Monster--as an example--might have looked completely different if not for Sammy's infamous 1954 car accident.

CO: (dumbfounded pause) Bullshit.

Me: Look it up.

I left before my lil' prevarication was found out.



Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Trouble at your Bakery?

"You stride your swiveling reverse trouser muffins up to that counter (the thundering un-sashay of your steps should make your buns look like an angry gnome swinging a pillowcase full of moist loam over his head), slap that doodley-whatsit down thereupon with the intensity of the first man to discover the gustatory elation from ingesting a whole goat (hooves be damned...but only after a dusting of powdered sugar and a spanking from the Apiary Goo Wand), stare menacingly into the neckware and/or upper-apron-area of Mister Oh-Lah-Dee-Dough-Kneading Bakery Shop Owning Biscuit and you say--you say--

I have punched my way out of a meat locker, swallowed whole more unstomped grapes than the most mentally Ill Italian, shat quantities of waste that would put to shame the collective excrement of every effin' Woolly Mammoth that ever squatted over a rift in the Snow Pack EVER...and you have the audacity to call this prospective purchase of mine RYE? You'd sell THIS to me? Did I mention my tremendous Excretory Output? I'd rather gnaw on the end of a bannister WITHOUT EVEN APPLYING BUTTER TO IT FIRST with your mouth than bring this home to my five legitimate children and the tagalong and deal with their Post-Alleged-Loave Cacophony of Woe.

That's what ya gotta do to get the respect of your baker...and sometimes the folk at the DMV."


Thursday, May 01, 2008

Iron Man's opinion of Mark Millar's KICK ASS