Tuesday, July 29, 2008


I cannot be 100% certain of this...but I swear that I heard some fellow say the following to a buddy of his the other night:

"I like my women like I like my moonwalks..."

I didn't hear the specifics that followed but it left me wondering what EXACTLY he may have meant.

I like my women:



Full of Kids?

Multicolored and shaped like a cartoon character and/or clown's head?

I may need to summon a carnie to get to the bottom of this...or not.

Friday, July 18, 2008

I Need a (dozen) Towel(s) so the Boy(s) can take a Shower
slightly amended bit from Frank Zappa's DONG WORK FOR YUDA

Scene: The Zappa Plays Zappa show at First Avenue on June 6th, 2008

Participants: Tour Related Paraphelnia Salesperson and yours truly

Me: Hey, wow! A Frank Zappa wall tapestry! That's pretty sweet. How much is that?

Salesperson: Uhm, no, that's actually a Frank Zappa beach towel.

Me: What? That's a bit odd considering he was a studio rat and all. A beach towel? It'd be cooler if it was a wall tapestry or a faux Shroud of Turin with a Frank slant in lieu of JC, y'know?

S: Er. Uh. Well, Mister Zappa DID live in California and, if you're familiar with its geography, it has a lot of beaches. Ergo, beach towel.

Me: Oh, hell. Using that logic I could justify selling Official Joe Cocker canned hams at his concerts by telling folk he spent the better part of 1967 sleeping in a pig sty on a swine skin cot.

S: ...

Me: I'll take the beach towel...but I'm calling it a tapestry and hanging it on the wall.

S: Whatever.

and just for Porcinely Laughs:

Saturday, July 12, 2008

One thing to do while bored at Barnes and Noble


Friday, July 04, 2008

My Contribution to a friend of mine's new One Sentence Book Reviews

Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls

"This is what happens when you mail order dogs."


"I cannot not think of this book whenever I hear the term Blood Bubble."