Another Find: Cher Zappa-ized

It was once was lost...but now is found...

Just in time for the Holidays...

I give you:

Dweezil and Ahmet Zappa's cover of

You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch


T

Letter to a local steak house from a disgruntled patron

I found myself in dire need of your Men's Room after my fifth Scotch Tonic (your 'tender, Rudy, knows a good pour is a fist and not two fingers worth of swilly goodness) and locomoted quickly to its Relieving Confines (with the prerequisite Clench quite noticeable in my Gait). You should know right off that I am Not one of those Modern Day Savages that doesn't Hesitate to use the Liquid Waste Trough found in your restaurant; a 'device' I firmly believe encourages Overt Displays of Sharing One's Genitalia and the Size/Strength of their Streams to any and all within eyeshot. A proper gentleman (and I assure you that I am one) does Not flaunt these Traits to their Relief Seeking Peers (or Pee-ers) and should always utilize, instead, the Privacy afforded by Stalls. Thank Goodness your fine (as I thought at this moment in time) establishment had one. Closing the door behind me and securing the latch I was Finally able to ease the distressing Kidney Processed Fluid pressure bearing down on my nether-regions; that is I thought I would be able to unleash my amber torrent...until I noticed my reflection (including my delicate grasp about my Seeing-A-Man-About-A-Horse-Noodle) in your Highly Reflective Choice of Wall Tiles. This stopped me Cold. Why in the World would anyone want to watch themselves urinate?!? What do you take your patrons for? Surely I have no Shame in my Equipment but I am NOT one to find some sick pleasure in watching my Body drain itself of its poisons. People that do should be locked up. Are these the Ilk of Humans you are Seeking to frequent your Place of Business?!? And you can forget suggesting to me that I should rectify this problem by sitting down to urinate; I am NOT a long-haul trucker nor of the Female Persuasion!!! I hereby request that the entirety of your Men's Room tiling be replaced Immediately or you will have lost my AND everyone I know/tell's patronage.

Misread Headline from today's paper

Actual Headline:

Family sells 448 acres for nature preserve

Read as:

Family sells 448 acres for mature purposes


T

Esther Rolle IS/WAS Florida Evans

'pon learning the fate of James Evans Senior:

Damn, Damn, DAMN: The Four Minute Version

T

For the Holidays...a lil' Doodle from years ago

Holistic Medical Advice via TV's Green Hornet: AcuPunting


"It might surprise you to learn that a swift kick in the ass from my Asian Companion Cato has a secondary effect (the primary being a sound bruising to one's buttocks) of suppressing raging bouts/gouts of diarrhea."

MODOK and TIP

The Mushroom Cloud of 1987 (Yikes)

Above-the-Mouth-Harp?

Blowing through another man's mustache is not often/never called playing the Hairmonica...but it should be.

T

Cow-orker Exchange from mere moments ago:


CW1: Did you say you're going to be here all week?

Me: Yes. I'll try to be on my best behavior.

CW1 (playfully): You'd better. I'll be watching.

Me: Should I wear my Shame Pants?

CW1: ...

T

Screaming Blue Messiahs: Someone to Talk To
Live from WHISTLE TEST 1985