Monday, February 17, 2014

Modern Hobo Signs:

Murder Shed Pickle/Brining Here

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Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Baked Good Shenanigans

Some Vendor or Another left a Gift of Giant Cookies at our Mule Juice Counter.

I partook in the Chocolate Chocolate (DOUBLE WILLIELEE!) Chip cookie.

On the way back to my desk...

Cow-Orker: Ooo. What kinda cookie is that?

TIP (You'd think the Brown with Darker Brown Dots would give it away): Chocolate Saltpeter.

Cow-Orker: What's Saltpeter?

TIP: A flaccid Snickerdoodle.

Cow-Orker: Oh! Sounds yummy!


Thursday, February 14, 2013

Special Valentine's Day Lapsus Linguae

Cow-Orker (the Receptionist) received a dozen red roses from her Husband and was arranging them in a vase as I strolled by.

TIP: Ooooo.
Cow-Orker: Yeah.
TIP: And making them all Fancy in the vase.
Cow-Orker: It's okay. I'm not one of those Flora-Oralists.
TIP(!!!): Bow-Chicka-Bow!
Cow-Orker: What?
TIP (walks away)

Slip of the Tongue, indeed.

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Sunday, November 18, 2012

Presidential Surnames as Sound Effects

From Shang Chi: Master of Kung-Fu #25

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Friday, October 12, 2012

Potential Narwhal Caper

Heading outside for a heater (Joker/Smoker) I took a shortcut through an empty office/storage area. In said area are some Cubicle/Veal Fattening Pen Walls.

On one of these walls was this abandoned piece of 'art':

Narwhal Decor!

The question now is:

Do I take it for my own?

Tuesday, September 04, 2012

I'm the Resident Nerd/Geek/Dweeb/Spazz/Wop here at Wark (Suprise!).

A Cow-Orker recently asked me to name all the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

So I replied:


They then thanked me and went off to e-mail someone the answers.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Juggernaut versus a Sammich

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Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Chug-a-Lunchin' through me Epidermis

Cow-Orker (to others): Lunch is here. (Notes TIP) You can have some, too.
TIP: That's okay. I'm not hungry.
Cow-Orker (surprised): You don't eat?
TIP: That's correct. I never eat.
Cow-Orker (more surprised): You never eat?
TIP: Are you familiar with Osmosis?
Cow-Orker: Who?
TIP (!!! Decides to run with it): That's the name of my dietician.
Cow-Orker: So you DO eat!
TIP: Through my skin, yes.
Cow-Orker: Er. Well. My lunch is getting cold.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Putrefying Pal!

Did I tell you fellows aboot my new Smoking Break Buddy?

I call him No-Chirpy-No-More.

He's a real scamp and spends most of his time moldering on the sidewalk.

Well, he used to. Some Cow-Orker or another ratted his Corpse out to the Janitor!

I was left with a dried puddle of NCNM's fluids as a pal.

That is, until today when I gained a NEW Smoking Break Buddy (AND THIS ONE IS CURRENTLY STILL ALIVE)!

This is Mister Bouncy Bouncy the Frog!

Saturday, June 30, 2012


This Arboreal Mist has the Piquaint Tang one comes to expect from the brachiating Orange Men of Borneo and their hither and non pour me anutta slug o' Orangutan, STAT!

Today's Wine Blurb (BLURB) brought to you by TIP that Stemless Vino Glass Concerns.