Stain Speculation

"Say, Tim...what's that splatter pattern on the front of your shirt from?"
"Oh...heh...a portion of sausage I was having for lunch fell off the fork and tumbled down my chest onto my lap. Kinda frustrating, what with being at work and all; you weren't the first to mention it."
"Well, in that case, don't wash the shirt...I know a scientist that would be interested in mapping the migratory path of rogue Lil' Smokies."
"Fuck off, Weiner Boy! Like you KNOW any scientists!"
"C'mon...gimme the shirt...this is empirical evidence that certain forms of processed meat are nomadic! I'll probably need the pants, too. Oh, and did you eat the sausage after it came to rest on your slacks? If so, I'm thinking a stool sample is in order..."


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