Top Ten Things Off the Top of My Head

10. In one day I will have outlived Jesus.

9. Context is the key to any Ladle-Related Humor.

8. Changing the lyrics to The Clash's Train in Vain to 'Did you Stand by Steve' is not as funny as you might think.

7. Crayola Crayons has just turned 100 years old and I still miss Periwinkle and Burnt Umbra.

6. Adding water to most foods will not result in the creation of Gravy.

5. On average, Homo Sapiens burn through five combs a year...according to my barber.

4. Shoe Horns are Not part of any Orchestra's Brass Section.

3. Dirk Benedict's career peaked with his role as Starbuck in Battlestar Galactica.

2. Hovering sandwiches are sure signs that something is amiss in your gravitational field.

1. Did I mention the part about outliving Mister Christ in a day?


T
(non-Larry King-ian)