Wednesday, October 08, 2003

Mysteries of My 'Yoot' Solved!
Part One

What was the reason behind that dog-earred copy of The Thorn Birds occupying the headboard shelf of my parents' bed for years and years? Well-Thumbed* and stuffed full of lotsa bookmarks denoting (apparently) important passages within, this book made it's first appearance shortly after the Mini-Series based on it was aired on network television and was a main-stay in their sleeping quarters for most (if not all) of the Eighties**

Why?

Was it so good that my mother needed to keep it close to her body when in the Land of Nod?

Or was there some other nefarious reason for its placement and condition?

My only recollection of this tome is from the aforementioned Mini-Series which starred Richard Chamberlain as some sort of Sexed-Up Holy Man torn between his 'love' for Rachel Ward's character and God.***

That couldn't be it...could it?

Were my parents closet Doctor Kildare fans?

Nope.

Impossible.

That couldn't be it as my father only ever watches televised news programming and C-SPAN and has never been a reader of any sort. The only Chamberlain he'd possibly be familiar with would be Neville and I'm sure he found nothing sexy about that British paper-waver.

After many years of reflection I have finally come to the conclusion that my mother favored this book as a tool towards getting her Jollies off and that my father was none-the-wiser to this fact.

What a damn weird choice in marital aids...

It could have been worse I suppose; it could have been a copy of Das Kapital that she was using in this manner...

T


*One might even say 'Overly-Thumbed' if you get my meaning.
**And possibly beyond that. I've not ventured near my parents' bedroom in almost 15 odd years...I don't possess the appropriate 'safari' equipment for an expedition of that sort.
***I'm pretty sure God was not an On-Screen character and was therefore not portrayed by any actor...unlike the OH GOD movies featuring the late George Burns as The All-Mighty.

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