Not my Eulogy

He was a good man and will long be remembered and missed by his family and friends.

(murmurs of agreement from the pews)

And--if I may be candid for a moment-- that sonuvagun had the biggest Jody Watley CD collection I have ever seen.

(louder murmurs supporting said statement)

I mean...Jesus Christ (pardon the blasphemy) but WHO KNEW she had THAT many recordings?!? Shit...er..SHOOT...who knew he was that big a fan? Where'd he find time to listen to them all? Were they strictly for show?

(more murmurs of a questioning nature)

I guess we'll never know.

Er...ICALLDIBSONTHEBESTOF...God rest his soul.

AMEN

(assorted AMENS from the pews)
T