Scratch and Myth

"Y'know, Fred, if ya keep scratchin' yerself like that you'll go blind; least, that's what my pappy usetah tell me...and he WUZ blind in one eye, so he wuz the voice of experience."
"He wuz a wise fella...but I betcha he never had himself a case of Gnomes like I've got."
"D'you say you've got Gnomes?"
"Yeah, that's what my quack told me when I went to 'mergency room last week; a ragin' case o' Pubic Gnomevillagus. In other words, some mythic bearded little people have taken up residence in my groinal region."
"?"
"That wuz my reaction, too! I've got midget squatters in my business area."
"Uh, can ya see 'em?"
"That's the funny thing; I can't. Doc said it has to do with my lack of an imagination or some such BS."
"I s'pect yer getting yer leg pulled, Fred."
"That ain't my dam pegs what's gettin' PULLED, buddy...feels like them lil' folk are using my junk for a utility pole or a lighthouse...somethin'..."

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