Friday, February 06, 2004

Avert Your Eyes!!! I'm at the Grocers!!!

I was asked by the 'Power That Is' to hit the supermarket today to refill our foodly reserves. Armed with a list of goodies and corresponding coupons I was in and out in about 30 odd minutes; but not without making one interesting observation:

-People do NOT make eye contact with other shoppers whilst seeking their grub. Peepers are firmly set on the items they're perusing/squeezing or aimed straight down into the cart they are propelling before them. Whether this has something to do with a form of shame relating to their selections (like the fact that their cart is filled to bursting with Jerky Flavored Oleo or Uncle Ben's Frisky Biscuit Mix) I do not know. But they certainly ain't looking at anyone...unless it's the butcher when opting for a half a dozen pounds of ground hog jowls or the cashier when checking out* (That'll be $487.53, Mister Gumflapper.).

Not me.

I was looking at everyone (lazy eye and all)...and HOLY SHIT, people...would it hurt you to clean yourself up before going grocery shopping? If I see a greasy mitt stain on another eggplant I had intentions of bringing home for a lovely evening again it will not be too damn soon.

T

*Which should not be mistaken for CHECKING OUT the cashier in an ogling, lecherous manner; unless, of course, you find trolling for babes at the local market the Bee's Knees (Say, Honey...what time's yer shift over? Wanna come over and help me thaw out these giblets?).

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