The Year of the Monkey
begins today.
As I have been mistaken for a primate since my earliest escapades as a reverse-Lord Greystoke (an ape-chile' raised by non-Peered alleged homo sapiens) I take great delight in this Chinese Zodiac designation.
Thus, to start this year out right, I am going to immediately enact the following promises:
-Impromptu 'nit-picking' to keep my fellow co-workers, acquaintances, authority figures and loved ones 'pelts' clean and presentable. If you look good, you feel good (so also expect a subsequent post-pick grope).
-Not to misconstrue the donning of scarlet drawers for red rump; recognizing , in truth, that it is purely a stylistic undergarment choice some folk make. No more random rutting for me at local department store changing rooms (as I promised my probation officer...whom I've also apologized to for that incident with his 'nanner'). Gotta learn to keep some of my base simian instincts in check if I want to make it in this world of 'hairless apes'* whilst simaltaneously celebrating the Monkey in Me. A difficult balancing act, indeed...but have you ever seen a Orang walking a suspended rope?
T
*To borrow a phrase from Steve Gerber's classic Howard the Duck comic series from the 70s (which was great and should not be lumped in with the film the series inspired...thanks, George). First Monkeys and now anthropomorphic Ducks? Must be late.
begins today.
As I have been mistaken for a primate since my earliest escapades as a reverse-Lord Greystoke (an ape-chile' raised by non-Peered alleged homo sapiens) I take great delight in this Chinese Zodiac designation.
Thus, to start this year out right, I am going to immediately enact the following promises:
-Impromptu 'nit-picking' to keep my fellow co-workers, acquaintances, authority figures and loved ones 'pelts' clean and presentable. If you look good, you feel good (so also expect a subsequent post-pick grope).
-Not to misconstrue the donning of scarlet drawers for red rump; recognizing , in truth, that it is purely a stylistic undergarment choice some folk make. No more random rutting for me at local department store changing rooms (as I promised my probation officer...whom I've also apologized to for that incident with his 'nanner'). Gotta learn to keep some of my base simian instincts in check if I want to make it in this world of 'hairless apes'* whilst simaltaneously celebrating the Monkey in Me. A difficult balancing act, indeed...but have you ever seen a Orang walking a suspended rope?
T
*To borrow a phrase from Steve Gerber's classic Howard the Duck comic series from the 70s (which was great and should not be lumped in with the film the series inspired...thanks, George). First Monkeys and now anthropomorphic Ducks? Must be late.
posted by Tony at 1:14 AM
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