An Avalanche is like WHAT?!?

This evening's Nightly News with Tom Brokaw had a piece on the rash of avalanches that have happened of late (during this wintery season). One particular gentleman they interviewed (bedecked in toque and ski-jacket...how appropos, no doubt) described an avalanche he survived as:

Like snow making an earthquake.

Flah?

C'mon, buddy...THAT'S the best you can do? You're on a National News Program, fer Flip's sake. Crank Start that Toqued-Noodle and gimme a better comparison than THAT!

Howabout:

It's like the mountain puked it's innards all over itself.

The avalanche was comparable to Old Smokey's Meatball going AWOL, ya dig?

A sub-zero volcanic eruption, dude. Like...ice magma, man.

Ya ever get overzealous with the gravy boat when soaking yer taters? JUST like that...only on a more epic non-edible and deadly scale

Totally Sisyphus-ian...only one way with a whole hell lot more than a stupid single boulder.

It reminded me of this time I was up against a 13th Level Wizard, failed my Saving Throw and got overrun by his incantation of Blorg's Wall of Splat,


Y'know? Confuse the Interviewer. Give their Editor something to chew on before running with the story:

Editor: Should we go with the 'meatball' quote?

Interviewer: Sure...why not? It'll play big with our Dago viewers...keep 'em off the slopes.

Editor: Bingo.

Next time...do better.

T
(or I will)