Friday, December 26, 2003

Holiday Observations

My extended family on my father's side cannot recall my age nor my occupation but you better believe they recall that I missed the family X-mas gathering last evidenced with the constant stream of 'Where the Fuck were ya last year?' inquiries.*

The wife learned that my oft-stated quote (during the Holiday Season), 'Tis the season to be jarry' is from the film A CHRISTMAS STORY and not my lame-ass attempt at inflecting a poorly done and stupidly stereotypical Asian accent when she finally saw the movie for the very first time.

There are very few people left living that know what Figgy Pudding
is as attested by the confused looks I was given by those in my proximity whilst I incessantly chanted the term.**

My nephew loves his new wooden building blocks set AND also (as it turns out) thinks it's funny when you put some of them down his pants. It was this very thing that enabled me to teach him the words Block Pants when referencing this stunt.


*Paraphrasing and Colorful language of my own devising with this quotation. Nary a one of my relatives said 'FUCK' in reference to me TO MY FACE...but I'm sure there have been plenty of other usages of such away from my presence.

**Okay. Okay. The confused looks were caused by the folk hearing my desert-ian mantra and wondering why in the Flip I was yelling it in the first place...and, p'raps, concluding that I had a very Special Christmas-y variation of Tourette's Syndrome. 'Noel. Noel. The angel's did F-f-f-f-f-FUCKER.'


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