ZZ Top and Jewelry Purchase Limitations

Childish as this might sound, the Texan Trio's hit song, Pearl Necklace, has set a ban on any pearl purchases by me in the way of gifts, door prizes, bribes, et cetera as the jizz...er...gist of the song is all about a lady's request to a gentleman for a seminal deposit on or about her neck region and Not a lovely piece of actual jewelry.*

Euphemistic, indeed.

It doesn't bother me per se but I wouldn't want to actually buy a pearl item (with no hidden agenda), hand it off to the recipient and have them think that I have the kooky notion to leave a dollop of DNA somewhere on their form (whether it was a pearl necklace, pearl earrings, pearl choker, pearl wristlet, and so on)...

Of course, gold is right out as well thanks to Frank Zappa's tune, Bobby Brown (Goes Down), and the line:

"...as long as I gets a lil' Golden Shower."

Since, again, I wouldn't want the giftee to get the impression that I was hot to micturate hither and non all over them.

Even if they were okay with it.

Bah...stupid music and it's weird influences.

T
*In case you didn't know this. Here's the lyrics which will let you decide if I'm wrong about the meaning behind this tune.

She's really upset with me again ,
I didn't give her what she likes .
I don't know what to tell her,
Don't know what to say.
Everything got funky last night .
She was really bombed ,
And I was really blown away ,
Until I asked her what she wanted ,
And this is what she had to say:
A pearl necklace .
She wanna pearl necklace .
She wanna pearl necklace .
She gets a charge out of bein' so weird ,
Digs gettin' downright strange .
But I can keep a handle on anything ,
Just this side of deranged .
She was gettin' bombed ,
And I was gettin' blown away ,
And she held it in her hand
And this is what she had to say:
A pearl necklace .
She wanna pearl necklace .
She wanna pearl necklace .
She is so tough , as pure as the driven slush .
And that's not true what she's talkin' about ,
It really don't cost that much .
She was gettin' bombed ,
And I was gettin' blown away ,
And she took it in her hand ,
And this is what she had to say:
A pearl necklace .
She wanna pearl necklace .
She wanna pearl necklace .