Wednesday, October 29, 2003

Brain Drain

If your mind is like a steel trap why is it that I do not hear mangled critters screaming?

Stilts will not only elevate your sights but also bring you closer to God...the God of Elongated and Modified Peg Legs, that is.

Long hair on men is a symbol of their virility and fondness for all things Kevin Sorbo.

The only purposes that undershirts have are to prevent nipple-chaffing and absorb torso excretions.

Breaking the chains of love does not involve splitting your schnoodle nor disowning your Erasure records.

If we all resided on Bizarro World Subway's food would make Jared fatter.

A flail in one's possession denotes a propensity towards Live-Action Roleplaying and not one lick of Hepness.

One unadorned tubesock makes a puppet not.

It is highly unlikely that any of the stuffed animals you had as a child possessed telepathy nor held positions of power in the unfortunately named Booger Town.

Retrieving a shaft of driftwood from Lake Superior will not grant you King Arthur-like attributes a la Excalibur and the Lady in the far as I know.

The purchase of your first toaster does not necessarily mean that you've reached The Big Time; but it will gaurantee many years of scorched bread goodness.



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