Today at work:

Co-worker: I'm running to Rainbow Foods...do you need anything?
Me (momentary pause to think): Yeah. I'm almost out of deodorant at home. Could you grab me some Right Guard?
Co-worker (not expecting *that* answer): No. I will *not* buy your deodorant for you.
Me (enjoying her response): No...really...I use the Scentless 'sport' kind. Not the stick or roll-on--that irritates my pits-- I use the aerosol.
Co-worker (flabbergasted): No.
Me (sniggering): Okay...but if I stink at work tomorrow the odiferous onus is on you (she's walking away). Watch out for my stink-lines!!!

T
(snork!)