I Went to School with a Kid Named _________: Part Three

I went to school with a kid named Bloot Farshtunkeneh. His daily routine included steeping himself in rosewater and yodelling selections of the Torah backwards.

I went to school with a kid named Abstract Plookman. He was the kind of fellow that liked rubbing coin purses against his elbows (plasticine friction was his thing...especially on the joints of his appendages) and once 'took liberties' with three different paragraphs from a classmate's novella (first draft).

I went to school with a kid named Julie Meatwheels. She was the kind of child that liked to burp bubbles into other folk's Chicken Noodle Soup using a novelty shoehorn/sole sucker device pinched from her Uncle Gnawly's Shoeshine Stand.

I went to school with a kid named Pelvic Flooring. His dad was a Janitor. Thanks/No thanks to said employment the poor bastard had to use a discarded slopbucket as his lunch box AND a nut cup (non-cashews). When he got moist, ol' Pelvic Flooring smelled like a piss activated Urinal Cake.

I went to school with a kid named Orson Rancor. All was well in his life until Mork and Mindy debuted; from that point forward everyone always wanted to smell his omelet and give him couch swirlies.