Saturday, November 18, 2006

An Exchange Between Saint Hyphen and TIP

St. H: Bats always exit out of caves to the left.
T: As did Snagglepuss/Tooth

St. H: Gorillas always wake up around 6:00.
T: Quit watching me sleep, Ed Asner/Ass-Sneer!

St. H: you have more bones in your butt then you do your head.
T: Shake that Medulla-Maker for me!

St. H: chimpmonks can't fart.
T: And Racoons can't chew 'baccy. "Down by the River" by Neil Young comes appropriate.

St. H: Dick Cheney has no protons in his entire body.
T: And Lynn Cheney NEVER wrote a Lesbo Thriller called SISTERS.

St. H: Why is it always mother nature? I say mother nature needs to pick up the slack cause we aint gett'in any clean I say its time for father nature to take over and build a giant carpet with which we can sweep everything under.
T: Her oleo is mag-nuh-fee-kway...but Father Time's Meatball Submarine Sammich comes armed with Pickle Spear Torpedos and Olive Depth Charges.

St. H: ipods can really only hold 5 songs the rest is just mind control and the hits from top guns soundtrack.
T: "That's right, Inquisitive One...this Zip-Lock Baggie contains the shorn beard of He-That-Is-Loggins...long may his chinless Silhouette Haunt your Waking Hours."

St. H: The sloth is the only animal to live his entire live vicarously through another mans junk
T: European or Sea-Faring Sloths?

St. H: Bonus sloth interesting fun fact
T: Don't fill up on bread!

St. H: The sloth is the only animal other then man to make gravy that is above and beyond the call of duty.
T: One man's ladle is another man's Scrotal Adjustor.

St. H: The new century will have more mentions of whoopie then any other century. farting and sexual wise (non goldberg)
T: Ted Dansen's Al Jolson Impersonation was ruined by the very Tears that Streaked his Uncle Ben's Face Makeup (just add water and he makes his own sauce).

St. H: Dust off does not work down there. She will not be happy about it.
T: I have friends that 'enjoy' putting Gold Bond on their Junk (non-wessel).

St. H: Railroad crossing signs were orignally signs for the village idiot.
T: The Transiental League of HoBohemia is in agreement over this matter and just acquired a handout of sufficient enough size to guarantee a lifting of the Night Train Embargo.

St. H: boxes are sometimes made of cream cheese
T: Nice Schmear.

St. H: name tags use to contain more vowels
T: Long live the Dagos!

St. H: certain items should not be combined with the term slathered.
T: Like Goat Pants and Tarmac Bacon.

St. H: Colonel Sanders was a sloth.
T: That will soon be able to be spotted from orbit.



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