Monday, June 05, 2006

Bram Stoker Wept

I recently took note of a fellow wearing an ancient and threadbare DIVER DOWN Van Halen tour shirt and, since I was feeling a bit chatty (how odd), I decided to engage him in conversation about the band's rotating cast of lead singers and, of the three (Roth, Hagar, Cherrone) which one he preferred.

Me: Hey, man, a Diver Down shirt. Looks like an original. You a fan of the David Lee Roth led version of the band?

Fan (startled): What do you mean?

Me (perplexed): Well, you're wearing a t-shirt with the album art for Van Halen's DIVER DOWN which is an album (and tour dates from 1982) of their's that David Lee Roth was still the frontman for 'em...so I figured you must be a fan of the original incarnation of Van Halen.

Fan (more confused): ...

Me (oh...for God's Sake...why did I start this 'conversation?'): The band...Van Halen...their name is right on your shirt.

Fan: You want it? Gimme something for it.

Me (what...we've leapt right to bartering? I don't want to see this guy shirtless and I definitely do not want an obviously used 'top'): No. No, I was simply wondering if...

Fan: S' rumor 'bout garlic warding 'em off...it's really celery that does the trick. Makes sure the piece is pointy.

Me (...the Hell?!? I could imagine Michael Anthony being afraid of Celery): What does garlic and/or celery have to do with Van Halen?!?

Fan: And don't never invite them into your apartment or rambler. You're shit outta luck then (starts making slurping noises).

Me (oh...maybe a slight issue with his auditory senses): VAN HALEN...NOT VAMPIRE. I was wondering about your VAN HALEN SHIRT (I point at his shirt). I'm pretty damn sure they've nothing to do with Vampirism.

Fan (finally catches on): This thing? Ah, man...some guy I know gave me this shirt cuz he knows I like snorkeling. Pretty sure they ain't aquatic; least I ain't never seen none underwater. Not sure if they needs to breathe or not.

Me: ...

T

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your are Nice. And so is your site! Maybe you need some more pictures. Will return in the near future.
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7:48 PM  

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