Lil' TIP's Day at the Dentist: Simple Cleaning Division

Dentist: Ah. Looks like we've got some staining here on the back of these lower front teeth.

(taps with dentist scraping utensil to indicate the position)

Here's a mirror so you can see it.


Me: I don't want to look at the stains on my teeth. Can't you just proceed with the cleaning?


Dentist (slightly taken aback): It might be beneficial for you to see this.


Me (might as well play hard to get on this one...what the hell): No.


Dentist (Really taken aback now): ... Here, take the mirror.


Me (heh heh heh): Look, I know there's stains there. I like coffee A LOT and it has been a while since I've been to a dentist. Let's get on with this.


Dentist (suppressing his sigh): Take the mirror.


Me (in a finicky childlike manner): FINE.

(I take the mirror and gaze at the reflected image of my gaping maw)


Dentist (relieved): Okay...good...look right here.

(taps with utensil again)


Me (Here comes the Overly-Dramatic Moment): Oh my God!!! I'm HIDEOUS!!! I'm HIDEOUS!!!

(said in a voice loud enough to be heard by the folk in the waiting room and surrounding work areas; I am certain of this as my ears catch the sound of several people laughing in response to my cries of horror)


Dentist (wide-eyed): It's...it's not that bad. It'll only take a few minutes to clean right up.

(takes mirror from me)


Me (heh): Please...do whatever you can to...to...help (whimpering). I don't want to be a pariah...




And so on.

May as well have FUN with 'em while you're being treated, eh?


T
(His payback may have been his insisting that I have a wisdom tooth extracted on my next visit...that should REALLY prove to be fun)