Today's Overheard Lunchroom Confessional

I swear to fuck the following statements came flittering out of the employee breakroom (I was sitting within earshot):

"I won't go anywhere near ostriches...but I WILL eat their eggs and I'll eat their meat. I do, however, have pictures of my boyfriend riding one...holding onto the wings and stuff."

I'm uncertain if, in fact, her lunch consisted of said terrestrially-bound bird eggs and/or flesh and I am also uncertain what exactly brought about these exclamations.

I am certain that shortly after this outburst that the following was stated by the same woman with only a few moments seperating each statement:

"When I sneeze I have to cross my legs so that I don't piss myself. That's what happens when you've had a few kids."

?!?

Let's see:

Giant Bird
Giant Bird lays Giant Eggs
Said Giant Eggs and Giant Bird Meat are delicious
Boyfriend Astride Giant Bird
Birthin' Babies
Potential Pissing of Oneself if legs not Crossed

Got it. I can now totally see the segue.

T