Big Boy Theft: 1992
As related to me by Your Pal, Jim (of lovely MilWookiee)

Back in '92 or so there was some stoner dude Pete who was trying really hard to be my friend. He'd give me big boxes of Dylan bootlegs (ugh) and naked pictures of his HOT girlfriend Caroline (yay!), and he'd just come over unnanounced and knock on my window. Anyway, one time he convinced me to go with him on an "errand", and I went just to get rid of him.

We went to a warehouse where all the old Big Boy stuff was being stored. Big Boy had just changed to Marc's Restaurants around here. Dude suddenly BROKE a window and opened a garage door, and next thing I knew I was carrying the burger end of one of those fiberglass statues through the woods.

Then all of a sudden it was light. There was a cop light on us. I dropped my end and ran all the way home. I don't know what happened to Pete.

Two months later, he slid a picture of his room under my door with the Big Boy statue in the corner. I think the feet were sawed off to make it fit. I gotta admit, it looked pretty great

I love it.

AND

This Week's Contender for Sentence of the Week?

...and next thing I knew I was carrying the burger end of one of those fiberglass statues through the woods.

Heh.

Might even work as a new-fangled euphemism...

T