One Minnesotan Father's Attempt to Teach his youngling some Geography

Y'see here, Renaldo, think of yer old pappy as our home state, Minnesota (you do know we live in Minnesota, right? Okay, was that a nod yes or your head tremors again? A YES? Good boy). So, I'M Minnesota, the Land of 10000 Lakes (more than that, really...but ya can't question the truth found on License Plates...the DOT knows their shit...hell, you should consider a job with 'em when you come of age...I can totally see you working a tar shovel once you hit your 'strappin lad' years). Now, to MY right (the West of Pa) are the states of both North and South Dakota. Think of South Dakota as my TV Tray here and North Dakota as my trusty spittoon that sits on top of it (HACH-TEW!!! *Ppppp-ting*). Got that? Heh, that's cute when you make spitting noises like your old man...jez don't spit on the floor no more; yer mudder's pissed off enough about your bare-ass-dragging-scoot across the area rug in the foyer. Okay, so I'M Minnesota, North Dakota is my Chaw-Infused-Spittle-Recepticle which rests on the South Dakota TV Tray. So far, so good? All right. Now Wisconsin, to the East of Minnesota (Daddy's left), is your father's Beer Fridge (and, not ironically, where I get most of Suds...that, too, should...and I emphasize SHOULD...help ya remember that since I half-ways drunk most of the damn time). Ya still with me? Now, to wrap things up, I'm going to get a lil' International on ya and give you a bonus answer; pretty exciting, eh? Okay, ya know how much daddy likes wearing his sombrero, right? My garish and favored headwear is Canada, our neighbor to the North.

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