An Apology for Implying that a Noted Actor had his 'Way' with a Toy Oven

It all started off innocently enough when I dropped this message to a fan of Jean Michel Jarre (when he implied that said artist got 'more tail than Yanni'):

I'll concede this point as this has been a Hot Topic within Noodley Musique community for years. However, the question we should Now focus on, and bear with me here, is this:

Has Jarre gotten more tail than Joe Don Baker?

Taken at face value, it would be hard to argue against Joe Don...boy's Brute Force with a Badge, dig? He was amassing tail 'points' years before Jarre doodled his plans for the very first Space Harp.

Hell, I'd wager that Joe Don Baker had sexual congress WITH the Space Harp backstage atop a Marshall Amp, it's dainty legs pointing skywards, prior to its debut.

That's why ya gotta be careful around a fellow like Mister Baker. Never know when an 'urge' is gonna take him over.

I was then corrected with the following reply:

first of all, it's a Laser Harp, not a Space Harp, and like i said before, it's a rarely used thing by Jarre, compared to all the other synthesizers and instruments he uses....

and second, i'm sure Jarre got more tail than whoever the hell you were talking about above.......

It was at this point that I got a little carried away and spun a lil yarn:

Well, first of all, Joe Don Baker isn't the kind of actor to ask for names first...'specially when he's banging something backstage before a concert.

Space Harp...Laser Harp...heck, if they were twins Joe Don would of had them both AT THE SAME TIME.

C'mon...it's Joe Don Baker!!!

(the image to the left was taken of JDB having 'relations' with a Hasbro Easy-Bake Oven which he SOMETIMES called 'Muffin')

And followed up on this fellow's line that Jarre got more tail then Baker with this:

Not according to this Easy Bake Oven (who wishes to remain nameless)

"He...sniff...took me from behind and...and...broke my bulb...and...and...boo hoo...my next three batches of cupcakes smelled of Pabst Blue Ribbon..."







So, if this false rumor gets out into the mainstream media and gains traction as truth, derailing JDB's career and causing worldwide sales of Easy Bake Ovens to plummet...well...you now know it's all my fault.

T