Not Necessarily the Response I expected from my Mother after she received THE COMPLETE PEANUTS Volumes One and Two from Me for Christmas

"Ooo. Good thing they're so heavy. That way no one will steal them."

That's right, mother dear...the heaviest tomes are the least likely to be pinched. And the Great Pumpkin knows that one of the first things a home intruder keys in on for booty is works of the late great Charles Schulz.

If only my copy of HAPPINESS IS A WARM PUPPY had weighed in at a couple hundred pounds I might still have it...

T