When Good Gifts go Bad
A Cautionary Tale

"Dad, you remember that time I dropped a pork chop in my lap over at Aunt Eunice's?"

"Yeah, boy, that was a shame seeing good meat go to waste like that."

"Uhm, yeah...when it hit my pants it tickled. Does that mean I'm into bestiality?"

"Er...not necessarily. But if you married it it'd be a type of animal husbandry...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!? Now where in the HELL did you learn that word."

"The World Books I got for my birthday."

"Dammit...I told your mother nothing good would come of that gift...now's it's turned you into some bookish pervert that's tantalized by warmed over pig. Wonderful."

"Uhm...then it might be a good idea to get rid of my copies of Charlotte's Web AND Babe..."

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