Not Overheard at the Plastic Surgery Clinic

"Doc, is there any way you can make me look like Paul Williams? Y'know, the famous American Entertainer? It'd be a dream come true cuz-- lemme tell ya--I have the singing chops a la Paul and would be damn good duetting with Muppets (I even practiced on the bus on the way here with a sock puppet I bummed off a napping guy). If I looked like him, too, can you imagine the loot I bring in on the Impersonator Circuit? I figure we can start by lopping off portions of my legs; and like the good Boy Scout I aspired (but failed) to be, I brought a bread knife and an ether-soaked hoodie. I also know where I can get a good wig."

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