Wednesday, March 17, 2004

Ways to Torment the Mathematicians in your Life

-Round Pi up to 4
-Define LOGARITHM as a 'bowel movement's tempo'
-TANGENTS are swarthy gentlemen
-COSINE is your aunt or uncle's child
-AXIS is a small clutch of hatchets
-A FIBONACCI SEQUENCE is a progression of prevarications about nacho chips
(What Dortio's? There weren't any Dorito's here. Someone else must have eaten them. My fingers aren't orange from eating the Dorito's! You're on drugs!)
-GEOMETRY is a small four-cylander automobile produced by Chevrolet
-CALCULUS was Cassius Clay's uncle on his father's side.
-SUBTRACTION is where you end up after injuring your back in a bathyshpere mishap
-QUADRATIC FORMULA is what you feed crippled tots
-A SQUARE ROOT is either a Geek's 'tackle' or when you show support (RAH! RAH! RAH!) for a favored Nerd
-HYPOTENUSE was a creature created by Geisel Seuss that 'sluiced the juice from a goose...that snarky obtuse Hypotenuse from Toulouse!'

T

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