Slight Misunderstandings

Guy 1: You gonna eat all them ribs?
Guy 2: Does the Pope shit in the woods?
G1: Beg pardon? I thought it was a Bear shitting in the woods?
G2: Hunh? The Pope was bare in the woods, shitting?
G1: Er...uncertain. I don't think the Cardinals allow the Pope to be naked anywhere besides his Papal rooms and/or bath.
G2: In other words, he wouldn't be out in the woods at all, let alone with a Bear? Is that what you're saying?
G1: I'm not even sure if there are Bears in or around the Vatican.
G2: So it's a no-nude area?
G1: Pretty sure that's spelled out in the Bible...'thou shalt not bare such and such...'
G2: Right, right...it's all clear to me now; but how in the Hell does anyone take a dump if they can't get naked in order to do so?
G1: One word...Robes.
G2: Including the Bears?
G1: If you're wearing a robe you aren't bare at all...so, yes.
G2: Who's going to the trouble of cladding all Bears in Robes? Is that a part of the Papacy?
G1: Right. Papa C. is the local tailor of all Bear-related clothing.
G2: If I'm getting this straight...the Pope was never actually in the woods shitting...it was a Bear in a Robe which sorta resembles the Pope...hence, the misunderstanding?
G1: Bingo.
G2: Okay, Mister Smart Guy...can you explain the whole 'Beware the Ides of March' thing to me?
G1: Is it the IDS or IDEAS of March?
G2: Wha? IDES...like the Malt Liquor. St. Ides.
G1: Well...one shouldn't get hooched up during the month of March.
G2: ?!? I thought it had something to do with Julius Caesar?
G1: Right on...Julius Caesar was a booze hound.
G2: Are you sure?

And so on.

Sadly, the ribs got cold and went uneaten.

A cautionary tale.

T