Sunday, August 17, 2003

Chew on this one


You are enjoying a sandwich* and there is a knock on your door.

Do you bring the sandwich with you to answer the door OR do you set it down on your plate/napkin/newspaper/sandwich doily before responding to the knock?

For me it would all depend on the quality of the sandwich. If it is one that I find so delicious that I hate to bear the thought of it leaving my sight (as my suspicious mind and conspiratorial gustatory senses would suspect its theft whilst I was away) than SURELY it will accompany me to the door (and assist in the Greeting of our unexpected guest).

'Why, Mister Spleenstein! What a surprise! Come on in. Have you met my sandwich, Mister Yum-Yum?'

On the other hand** if I was eating a regular everyday run-of-the-mill sandwich I would gladly abandon it before embarking on my journey to the door.

'Stay where you are, barely adequate sustenance. I will return shortly to muscle you down 'though my gullet doth protest thine digestion.'

However, if there was any knockwurst involved in the sandwich there'd be no question; the sandwich would answer the door itself.

'Yeah Yeah Yeah...I'll get the goddamn door. Think you so damn funny makin' the KNOCKwurst answer the door? Hope you starve while I'm gone.'


*Feel free to define 'enjoying a sandwich' any which way you'd like; whether it be eating it, sexing it, displaying it, et cetera.

**Say...there could be TWO sandwiches; one for Each Hand!


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