Fun with Cow-Orkers of Recent Vintage

Cow-Orker: Need to have my gutters fixed.
TIP: Mmm hmm. Neighbor's been having trouble with his.
Cow-Orker: How so?
TIP: He keeps shitting in them.
Cow-Orker: What?
TIP: He shits in his gutters. Says it's a thing or whatever.
Cow-Orker: Thing?
TIP: Sy-Colon-itis.
Cow-Orker: Bullshit.
TIP: Depends on his previous meals.
Cow-Orker (leaves)

ow-Orker: Where's your degree from?
TIP: Porcine University.
Cow-Orker: Where's that located?
TIP: Hamburg, Germany.
Cow-Orker: Oh, you studied overseas?
TIP: Yep.

Cow-Orker: You look angry.
TIP: No. This is my face at rest.
Cow-Orker: So you look angry all the time?
TIP: Would you like me to shave a smile into my facial hair? I could be Reverse Hobo Clown Face Lad.
Cow-Orker: You are mad.
TIP: Now.

Cow-Orker: I didn't want to leave my boyfriend in downtown Minneapolis without any money or a working cellphone.
TIP: Indeed. Imagine your next talk beginning with, "Honey, what's White Slavery?"
Cow-Orker: ...
TIP: FINE! "Honey, what's Indentured Servitude?" Better?
Cow-Orker: ...

Cow-Orker: I used to love reading Omni Magazine.
Cow-Orker II: Did you know that magazine was published by the same people as Penthouse?
Cow-Orker: Heh. Did it have a Omni Forum Column?
TIP: Yes. I remember one. "Dear Omni Forum. I was in orbit between Mars and Jupiter and decided to plook an Asteroid..."