The rare sighting of the Suburban Mobile Hobo (SMOBO)
Day One: Monday of this Week
I pop outside for a smoke break and take note of two open (and presumably empty) Pineapple Juice cans (eww).
Hunh. A cow-orker clearly loves them Squeezings; so much so that they're trumpeting said passion by wantonly leaving their empties lying about...a declaration to all that If You don't Like Pineapple Juice, you Suck.
I turn away shamefully (as I hate Pineapple Juice) only to note some items parked behind the school's back-up generator.
Air Mattress, rumpled up Sleeping Bag, clothing, kick-standed basketed bicycle and assorted food items.
Well, well, well. A SMOBO has taken up residence on our property! Delightful!
AND HE/SHE LOVES PINEAPPLE JUICE!!!
Curiosity draws me closer (to Hell with the potential Stink Cloud Malador).
Total Cereal, eh? This SMOBO cares about the condition of his GI System. And a plastic razor! This SMOBO likes to keep smooth! Perhaps a lack of Beardly Action helps him/her blend into the Suburban Environs? Or maybe he/she likes to keep his NetherPatch high and tight?
What else is in those baskets?
A can of diced tomatoes and two containers of Chicken Bouillion!!! Not exactly what I'd Soup up but to each their own.
The other basket?
Er.
Sun Tea?
Urine?
A jelly of some sort?
A combination of all of this?
Sadly, I'm not brave (nor curious) enough to crack the lid to find out exactly.
Let's just say Sun Urine Jelly and move on.
I internally hope the SMOBO survives the evening and will still be around the next day.
Day Two: Tuesday of this Week
The SMOBO is still here!!!
But has clearly decided that he/she should tidy up a bit and keep a neat squat/parking area. Awesome!
Well, not exactly as his/her plastic razor is no longer welcome in the basket.
Nor is this matchbook from Mystic Lake Casino.
Did the razor go dull and he had to use the contents of the matchbook to torch off his/her undesired foliage?
SMOBOs are practical that way; modern day McGyvers...or something.
What will Day Three bring?
Day Three: Wednesday of this Week
Day Three brings disappointment as the SMOBO has departed.
Only the razor and the matchbook remained...
Day One: Monday of this Week
I pop outside for a smoke break and take note of two open (and presumably empty) Pineapple Juice cans (eww).
Hunh. A cow-orker clearly loves them Squeezings; so much so that they're trumpeting said passion by wantonly leaving their empties lying about...a declaration to all that If You don't Like Pineapple Juice, you Suck.
I turn away shamefully (as I hate Pineapple Juice) only to note some items parked behind the school's back-up generator.
Air Mattress, rumpled up Sleeping Bag, clothing, kick-standed basketed bicycle and assorted food items.
Well, well, well. A SMOBO has taken up residence on our property! Delightful!
AND HE/SHE LOVES PINEAPPLE JUICE!!!
Curiosity draws me closer (to Hell with the potential Stink Cloud Malador).
Total Cereal, eh? This SMOBO cares about the condition of his GI System. And a plastic razor! This SMOBO likes to keep smooth! Perhaps a lack of Beardly Action helps him/her blend into the Suburban Environs? Or maybe he/she likes to keep his NetherPatch high and tight?
What else is in those baskets?
A can of diced tomatoes and two containers of Chicken Bouillion!!! Not exactly what I'd Soup up but to each their own.
The other basket?
Er.
Sun Tea?
Urine?
A jelly of some sort?
A combination of all of this?
Sadly, I'm not brave (nor curious) enough to crack the lid to find out exactly.
Let's just say Sun Urine Jelly and move on.
I internally hope the SMOBO survives the evening and will still be around the next day.
Day Two: Tuesday of this Week
The SMOBO is still here!!!
But has clearly decided that he/she should tidy up a bit and keep a neat squat/parking area. Awesome!
Well, not exactly as his/her plastic razor is no longer welcome in the basket.
Nor is this matchbook from Mystic Lake Casino.
Did the razor go dull and he had to use the contents of the matchbook to torch off his/her undesired foliage?
SMOBOs are practical that way; modern day McGyvers...or something.
What will Day Three bring?
Day Three: Wednesday of this Week
Day Three brings disappointment as the SMOBO has departed.
Only the razor and the matchbook remained...
posted by Tony at 3:15 PM
1 Comments:
Thank you, truly I mean it, for the SMOBO dialog and pix. Well done.
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