Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The rare sighting of the Suburban Mobile Hobo (SMOBO)

Day One: Monday of this Week

I pop outside for a smoke break and take note of two open (and presumably empty) Pineapple Juice cans (eww).

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Hunh. A cow-orker clearly loves them Squeezings; so much so that they're trumpeting said passion by wantonly leaving their empties lying about...a declaration to all that If You don't Like Pineapple Juice, you Suck.

I turn away shamefully (as I hate Pineapple Juice) only to note some items parked behind the school's back-up generator.

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Air Mattress, rumpled up Sleeping Bag, clothing, kick-standed basketed bicycle and assorted food items.

Well, well, well. A SMOBO has taken up residence on our property! Delightful!

AND HE/SHE LOVES PINEAPPLE JUICE!!!

Curiosity draws me closer (to Hell with the potential Stink Cloud Malador).

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Total Cereal, eh? This SMOBO cares about the condition of his GI System. And a plastic razor! This SMOBO likes to keep smooth! Perhaps a lack of Beardly Action helps him/her blend into the Suburban Environs? Or maybe he/she likes to keep his NetherPatch high and tight?

What else is in those baskets?

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A can of diced tomatoes and two containers of Chicken Bouillion!!! Not exactly what I'd Soup up but to each their own.

The other basket?

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Er.
Sun Tea?
Urine?
A jelly of some sort?
A combination of all of this?

Sadly, I'm not brave (nor curious) enough to crack the lid to find out exactly.

Let's just say Sun Urine Jelly and move on.

I internally hope the SMOBO survives the evening and will still be around the next day.


Day Two: Tuesday of this Week

The SMOBO is still here!!!

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But has clearly decided that he/she should tidy up a bit and keep a neat squat/parking area. Awesome!

Well, not exactly as his/her plastic razor is no longer welcome in the basket.

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Nor is this matchbook from Mystic Lake Casino.

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Did the razor go dull and he had to use the contents of the matchbook to torch off his/her undesired foliage?

SMOBOs are practical that way; modern day McGyvers...or something.

What will Day Three bring?


Day Three: Wednesday of this Week

Day Three brings disappointment as the SMOBO has departed.


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Only the razor and the matchbook remained...

1 Comments:

Blogger The Second One from the Left said...

Thank you, truly I mean it, for the SMOBO dialog and pix. Well done.

12:08 PM  

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