Potential Pants Whoring?

Today at the lil' superette I stop at to get my morning coffee the following conversation happened:

Trouser Admirer: Goodness. Are you wearing linen pants?

Me (startled): Er...yes?

Trouser Admirer: My, my, my...wouldn't expect a person your age to appreciate fine linen pants.

Me (Why not leap into the Too Much Information Pool?): Heh. Y'see, I hate 'regular' pants on hot days; they make my ass sweat. Linen pants...'breathe' better...discouraging butt perspiration.

Trouser Admirer: Yes they do, yes they do. You know, I'm so impressed by your choice in pants I'm going to pay for your coffee.

Me (Free Coffee!!!): That's awfully kind of you but I can't let you do that. I appreciate the Slacks Compliment and all...

Trouser Admirer: I insist.

Me (this is beyond weird now): No. Again, very generous but I'm not comfortable with an exchange of a cup of coffee for a total stranger ogling my pants.

Trouser Admirer: In that case I hope you burst your inseam when you are at work and embarrass yourself in front of your co-workers when your...'stuff' falls out!

Me (heh): Oddly enough, I'm a professional Male Stripper.

Trouser Admirer: !!!!

And leaves.




I'm happy to report that my pants did not succumb to this Trouser Admirer's 'hex' and they are now safely awaiting a washing in the laundry room.

T