Norwegian Log: Prologue
(not to be mistaken for 'Norwegian Wood' by the Fab Four nor any other sort of Scandanavian Lumber)
In about twenty-four hours the Boss (the Norge-whal) will be heading off for a Ten Day Adventure in her Country du Jour, Norway.*
Which (in turn) affords me ten days of solo-time** and all the adventures I may or may not have.
Hence, this NORWEGIAN LOG.
In it I propose to keep a daily account of my feats, deeds and missteps as I try to navigate sans the Boss' steady 'rudder.'***
Prior to her departure Boss Hannah stocked the pantry with some of favorite canned goods (peas, beans, tuna) and filled the freezer with a few dishes that I should be able to heat to a desirable temperature for healthy noshing; thus doing her best to ensure that I will be around post-trip to 'enjoy' all her tales of Fjordland.****
We shall see.
Stay tuned.
I now have to go add a few things to her luggage to ensure her safe travel abroad-- namely a set of D & D dice and the family short sword. Random Monster Encounters in Norway (according to the Dungeon Master's Guide: European Edition) are much more deadly than they are stateside***** and one should be armed with a trusty 20-sided and all its dicey-companions.
The short sword should be self-explanatory. The lass has a hell of a killing stroke.******
See you tomorrow.
T
(booHOOhoo...snrt-snrt-snrt...booHOOhoo)
*Don't let her fool ya...she's got plenty of other nationalities floating about in her genetic booya. Consider her Norwegian-istic slant the broth of said 'stew-esque' miasma.
**Not really SOLO per se...there's still the dog to consider, eh?
***Also a Ten Day respite from living under the shadow and threat of blunt-force injuries from her Rolling Pin of Damocles
****Having food around that is easy to prepare is no guaranty that I will successfully survive her time away...after all, I do tend to enjoy the random pugilistic encounter and my infrequent dalliance with the Home Version of FEAR FACTOR. Who knew I could swallow all those mandrill knuckles while riding a unicycle? You wouldn't think it was possible from a fellow nicknamed 'TIP.'
*****You mean you haven't heard the tale about the American Tourist in Tromso that was mauled by a Dark Gnome armed with a Trowel full of +5 Lutefisk? The Traveller never saw the beast coming and--when his corpse was pulled from the community well--he was dice-less, if you know what I mean.
******You now understand my fear of the aforementioned Rolling Pin of Damocles that she wields so unerringly. She's like a freakin' Ninja with that thing. OH...and her homemade bread is to die for.
(not to be mistaken for 'Norwegian Wood' by the Fab Four nor any other sort of Scandanavian Lumber)
In about twenty-four hours the Boss (the Norge-whal) will be heading off for a Ten Day Adventure in her Country du Jour, Norway.*
Which (in turn) affords me ten days of solo-time** and all the adventures I may or may not have.
Hence, this NORWEGIAN LOG.
In it I propose to keep a daily account of my feats, deeds and missteps as I try to navigate sans the Boss' steady 'rudder.'***
Prior to her departure Boss Hannah stocked the pantry with some of favorite canned goods (peas, beans, tuna) and filled the freezer with a few dishes that I should be able to heat to a desirable temperature for healthy noshing; thus doing her best to ensure that I will be around post-trip to 'enjoy' all her tales of Fjordland.****
We shall see.
Stay tuned.
I now have to go add a few things to her luggage to ensure her safe travel abroad-- namely a set of D & D dice and the family short sword. Random Monster Encounters in Norway (according to the Dungeon Master's Guide: European Edition) are much more deadly than they are stateside***** and one should be armed with a trusty 20-sided and all its dicey-companions.
The short sword should be self-explanatory. The lass has a hell of a killing stroke.******
See you tomorrow.
T
(booHOOhoo...snrt-snrt-snrt...booHOOhoo)
*Don't let her fool ya...she's got plenty of other nationalities floating about in her genetic booya. Consider her Norwegian-istic slant the broth of said 'stew-esque' miasma.
**Not really SOLO per se...there's still the dog to consider, eh?
***Also a Ten Day respite from living under the shadow and threat of blunt-force injuries from her Rolling Pin of Damocles
****Having food around that is easy to prepare is no guaranty that I will successfully survive her time away...after all, I do tend to enjoy the random pugilistic encounter and my infrequent dalliance with the Home Version of FEAR FACTOR. Who knew I could swallow all those mandrill knuckles while riding a unicycle? You wouldn't think it was possible from a fellow nicknamed 'TIP.'
*****You mean you haven't heard the tale about the American Tourist in Tromso that was mauled by a Dark Gnome armed with a Trowel full of +5 Lutefisk? The Traveller never saw the beast coming and--when his corpse was pulled from the community well--he was dice-less, if you know what I mean.
******You now understand my fear of the aforementioned Rolling Pin of Damocles that she wields so unerringly. She's like a freakin' Ninja with that thing. OH...and her homemade bread is to die for.
posted by Tony at 5:12 PM
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