Conversations I will Soon Have with my Neighbors: Part Three

"Cleaning out your gutters, eh? Yeah, I hate those Helicoptory Thingamajigs, too. Say, I couldn't help hearing you hitting your downspout with the ladder when you almost fell down and, if I may say, you got a really nice tone out of it. The reason I bring this up is that a couple of fellows from my Coffee Klatch and I are pondering putting a Blue Man Group type band together and, considering your recently displayed knack for striking a metal tube, I think you might be a welcome addition. No one's ever mentioned your innate sense of rhythm? Weird. How do you look in make-up; specifically, how do you look in full-on Indigo face make-up? What? Oh, come on! You never played Alien or Drag Queen or Tammy Faye Bakker growing up? I sure as Hell did. Quite liberating. And, thanks to it and an unhealthy obsession with E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial, I even discovered I have a Trick Neck...oh, that and that my finger and chest won't glow on their own unless I set them on fire..."

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