Golden Doodle Uber Alles (or What I Learned at a Party Last Night)
Golden Doodle: A cross between a Golden Retriever and a Poodle
I'm a dog person. I love my dog. He's a beloved member of my inner circle of close compadres (and the only one I allow to use my backyard as a toilet...talk about preferential treatment...although it is possible that a few of my Homo Sapien Pals HAVE secretly relieved themselves 'pon my lawn...it's not like I'm in possession of Omni-Awareness nor a Piss Patrol that guards against the delivery of Human Waste into the Ecosystem behind my house). So I fully understand the excitement of a boy/man introducing a canine into one's Life Orbit. I truly do.
However, I was completely unaware that when the topic of Golden Doodle acquisitions arise all other unrelated conversation threads are strictly verboten, any non-Doodle chatter must end immediately, and all folk within earshot must bow to the metaphoric muzzle of not-present pup or the Ire of the Future Golden Doodle Owner (Golden Doodler?) will be unleashed (heh) upon the un-heeled in all its feral glory.
An example of this LAW being enforced follows (transpiring as it did around Midnight and many hours after the first mention of the Golden Doodle puppy):
Me: It's a damn shame the tickets for the Tom Waits show in Chicago sold out so fast. I would have liked to see him live again. The MULE VARIATIONS tour back in 1999 was fantastic.
Fellow Waits-ian: No kidding.
Doodler (overhearing this social faux-pas/paw): NO ONE CARES ABOUT TOM WAITS! GOLDEN DOODLE!!! GOLDEN DOODLE!!! We will only speak of the Doodle!!!
Me and Fellow Waits-ian (in unison): Sorry.
Doodler: Right. Exactly. So, as I was saying...
In actuality, he hadn't been...he HAD been quietly leaning against a kitchen counter. Although I now suspect that an Inner Dialogue with the Main Thesis of Golden Doodles had been raging within his cerebellum...of which, naturally, we had been completely uanwares....what with his not talking and all.
Perhaps the dude's zeal of the soon-to-be-acquired puppy was amped up via the intake of many alcoholic beverages, raising the fellow's inherent passion of said dog breed. Perhaps he's not a Tom Waits fan. Either way, as was quickly apparent, never allow a Non-Golden Doodle Topic Embargo emerge...stemming the flow of Doodle Discussion even when no one else is talking about anything.
This PSA was brought to you by the Fine Crossbreeding Dog Imagineers worldwide and their continued pursuit of Hybrid Vigour.
Golden Doodle: A cross between a Golden Retriever and a Poodle
I'm a dog person. I love my dog. He's a beloved member of my inner circle of close compadres (and the only one I allow to use my backyard as a toilet...talk about preferential treatment...although it is possible that a few of my Homo Sapien Pals HAVE secretly relieved themselves 'pon my lawn...it's not like I'm in possession of Omni-Awareness nor a Piss Patrol that guards against the delivery of Human Waste into the Ecosystem behind my house). So I fully understand the excitement of a boy/man introducing a canine into one's Life Orbit. I truly do.
However, I was completely unaware that when the topic of Golden Doodle acquisitions arise all other unrelated conversation threads are strictly verboten, any non-Doodle chatter must end immediately, and all folk within earshot must bow to the metaphoric muzzle of not-present pup or the Ire of the Future Golden Doodle Owner (Golden Doodler?) will be unleashed (heh) upon the un-heeled in all its feral glory.
An example of this LAW being enforced follows (transpiring as it did around Midnight and many hours after the first mention of the Golden Doodle puppy):
Me: It's a damn shame the tickets for the Tom Waits show in Chicago sold out so fast. I would have liked to see him live again. The MULE VARIATIONS tour back in 1999 was fantastic.
Fellow Waits-ian: No kidding.
Doodler (overhearing this social faux-pas/paw): NO ONE CARES ABOUT TOM WAITS! GOLDEN DOODLE!!! GOLDEN DOODLE!!! We will only speak of the Doodle!!!
Me and Fellow Waits-ian (in unison): Sorry.
Doodler: Right. Exactly. So, as I was saying...
In actuality, he hadn't been...he HAD been quietly leaning against a kitchen counter. Although I now suspect that an Inner Dialogue with the Main Thesis of Golden Doodles had been raging within his cerebellum...of which, naturally, we had been completely uanwares....what with his not talking and all.
Perhaps the dude's zeal of the soon-to-be-acquired puppy was amped up via the intake of many alcoholic beverages, raising the fellow's inherent passion of said dog breed. Perhaps he's not a Tom Waits fan. Either way, as was quickly apparent, never allow a Non-Golden Doodle Topic Embargo emerge...stemming the flow of Doodle Discussion even when no one else is talking about anything.
This PSA was brought to you by the Fine Crossbreeding Dog Imagineers worldwide and their continued pursuit of Hybrid Vigour.
posted by Tony at 3:07 PM
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