Quotes from this weekend that probably make as much sense out-of-context as they did in-context...as uttered by this writer

"I've got a Five-Speed Ted Knight under the hood."

"Not kismet...KISS MITT!!! (with vigorous fist-shaking accompanying said statement)

"Do you want some McIce with that McFuckFace?"

"I'm going to rub the gas station against my nipples...and that apple, too."

T