Unimpressive Boasts: Celebrity-Related

"Some folk say I sound a lot like Lou Ferrigno when I sing."

"I was Oprah Winfrey's stunt double for The Color Purple."

"Thanks to E-Bay I now have a sack of Gallagher's hair...and it still kinda smells watermelon-y."

"I once complimented Kris Kristofferson on the condition of the jeans he was poured into."*

"Took second place in a Shake and Stink Like Joe Cocker competition."

"Senator Norm Coleman once gripped my elbow."**

"Morrissey penned the tune Vicar in a Tutu about my anglican uncle's slighty off-putting fashion choices."

"I've got it on good authority that this mud flap was once used as a loin cloth by Ted Nugent."


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*This one is something that actually happened...and believe me...they were some nasty-lookin' Levi's and begged to be snarkily commented on.

**This happened, too. I still feel a lil' turned on by it.