Unused Plot Thread from my non-existent Soap Opera script

The hastily devised plot to unseat City Councilman Alphonse 'Un-Fonzie' Rutherfred goes awry when the hired thug--in actuality an excommunicated former Swiss Guard/Ninja of Pope John Paul the First-- errs in his understanding of the word 'unseat' (in this context) and attempts to forcibly amputate the elected official's buttocks with a ceremonial katana while he dined with one of his mister-esses at the Overindulgent Friar Charhouse. The unscheduled 'surgical procedure' is thwarted by the keen eyes of the always chagrined, yet unnaturally lovable professional bouncer Barth 'Blast' Fernis, who's night it happened to be to work the door (even though his soon-to-be-third wife was in her 15th hour of labor with their 2nd illegitimate child whom they planned to name Cheep-pack Dobro, regardless of sex, after mishearing the name of a certain famous Spritualist).

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