Item that may prove to be Useless/Entertaining in your Dungeons and Dragons Campaign

Gauntlets of Groping
A roll of a Natural Twenty allows possessor of said gauntlets to man/monster-handle and fondle intended target for three rounds. Whilst being manipulated, the gropee is unable to retaliate against the groper but can emit low cooing/moaning noises in response to the magically enhanced rubbing. After the third round, the victim has to roll for initiative; if he/she/it fails, a second three rounds of vigorous caressing ensues. A Saving Throw against Viscous Shudders must then be successfully made or, upon the end of the sixth consecutive round of Oo La La, the unexpectedly randified will soak their own thighs with gouts of Baba Yaga's Joy Juice (or, if they be a creature sans thighs, their slithery nether-regions). If the over-groped happens to be a Fellow Adventurer (that you have had a bone to pick with), the other Roleplayers present are then allowed to mercilessly tease/chastise their compatriot until he/she leaves in a fit of tears (symbolicly representing the imagined and unintended ejaculation) when their parent/guardian arrives to rescue them from this belittling experience. Normal gaming resumes from this point forward.

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