An Exchange Worth Saving
The Saint/TIP Banter


The Saint: Knees with the sweet sweet honey taste of butterscotch.


TIP: The man with Apiaries for knees...coming soon to a Pre-school parking lot near you.

Bring mosquito netting and a Psalms book (and a spanner). I will now spend the rest of the day pronouncing Mascot as Muh-Scoot.


The Saint: Those french and there I'm better then Muh-Scoot attitudes. Come see dong-o the anatomically correct muh-scoot dog.


TIP: Dong-O, new from Fisher-Price. It shits Little People (sold seperately).


The Saint: Fisher Price was actually invented by Edison but Jarre stole the idea to make a large miniature army (armed with Jarre toenail clippings) to fight off snails in the slow and low wars of 1817 right before the nexus collapse which later caused Burt Reynolds mustache to become alive and later star in it's own movie Todd Mustache: Zombie Sucker and even more later Todd Mustache: Zombie Sucker II Chainsaw splatter'in love.


See also the quote: "So long and thanks for all the brains" -Todd Mustache in Zombie Bears From That Space Ship Over Theres


TIP: Did you see the Buddy Movie Todd Mustache was in with Gil "Gelatinous Torrents" LugeSocket? I think it was called Unseemly Inseams and the Quest for the Pre-Riveted Denims (and Shrug Slacks Unleashed overseas)?


The Saint: Boy did I. I have fluids from both Todd and Gil on my rococo microwave cart and a couple signed scripts. I heard there's a special edition coming out with all the deleted Ann Wilson full frontal nude scenes with akward commentary by Nancy Wilson and friends. It's too bad that was Gil's last film before "the accident" which today I still think is a conspiracy developed by steve perry to get Nancy back. steve perry you FOOL! Nancy's heart belongs to Jeff Lynne always has always will be.


TIP: Cameron Crowe was once rumored to have 'polished the hammer' of Jeff Lynne during the Traveling Wilburys first recording session. This has nothing to do with Todd and Gil...although I'm sure both of them know their respective ways around a Salacious Toolbelt.


The Saint: Sadly we'll never get a dvd of the first live shows as Jeff Lynne's dong was always hanging out. Art my butt Lynne no one needs to see you Turn to Stone although a shiny Orbison is a thing of beauty.


TIP: Jeff Lynne once tried to have relations with George Harrison's sitar. Fortunately, this caused a Ripple in the Karmasphere and alarmed Ravi Shankar enough that he 'ported to its rescue. Ravi also made Lynne atone for his Urges by filling his testicles with Curry (non-Tim).

And lest we forget:

"Prop me up, Sir Flying Buttress, for I seem to have tickled the ivories in such a ferocious manner that my Lumbar Nerve has checked out of the Hotel Ass-Back and taken a Bullet Train to Paralysis City."

-Todd Mustache in Double Dutch HopScotch and the Hootch Banditos of Scat Gulch, New Mexico


The Saint: CLASSIC scene!

"Clench forth the butts of WAR!"

-Sir Flying Buttress in Double Dutch HopScotch and the Hootch Banditos of Scat Gulch, New Mexico


TIP: Also:

"Liberally apply the Denture epoxy 'pon me Welding Gloves for tis time to Work the Bellows of Mother Lather's Forge of Nutrients."

-Butter Chum the Churner of Viscous Faux-malade in the same film


The Saint: Butter Chum also shows up in Todd Mustache's film Todd Mustache in Aces High, Nipples Low as Pestsmith the Ignorant.

Here's a scene

"I'll see your mashed ball of rodents hair combed right AND your tacky collection of sweaty goblits filled with regions nether and raise you this"

*dramatic pause with new lighting*

"THE LEFT BOOB OF MAIDEN NIPPLEWRIGHT!"

"Tis no nipples"

"stoot as ever pestsmith the ignorant...for all her nipples reside on her right hand"

-Todd Mustache in Aces High, Nipples Low


TIP: The Novelization of Aces High, Nipples Low included some scenes that were cut from the final film.

One of which was the infamous Trowel Scene.

It involved a randy mason (Mortar Lap the Hunched) and his assignment to "wall off" Fair Maiden Ursa Gnu's gaping Trach.