The Little Plastic Head of Lorne Greene: BACK

'Round the Ponderosa Galactica, ya had to be extra-careful with how ya dealt with the fortunes that came outta Hop Sing's homemade fortune cookies.  See, a lotta fellers get their Ya-Ya's off, in a Ha-Ha manner, by adding "in bed" or "between the sheets" tah the end o' their de-cookied fortune slips.  Like, for example, I had one that read "Beware the Dark Mechanical Bird" and the Hoss Droid chimed in with "IN BED" makin' it sound to the other Asteroid Rangers assembled in the mess like I've got some sorta inclination to bang 'bot birds in my quarters (never you mind the incident on Aviary III).  Funny, right?  Naw.  Not at all.  It's even less funny  if'n Hop Sing, hisself, catches a hearin' of the phrase "IN BED" since he's one of the randiest mofos ever to pole a junk (heh...that could be taken the wrong way unner these circumstances...s'plains a lot too 'bout his skills with the galley's butter churn) and is likely to poke you in the Dark Star o' yer Pants Nebula, if you catch muh meaning.  Nope, we learned damn fast after a dozen or so 'monoliths through the Gates of Ouch' events from him that it was best to use sumpin' else if'n yer gonna get's cutesy with yer ha-ha tag lines to fortune cookie fortunes.

Thus far, the safest one's been "Especially in Mexico."  Like in, "He who expects no gratitude, shall always be poor."

"Especially in Mexico."

See?  Now that shits funnier AND safer for the resident bung in the back o' yer britches.

T