Boastin' 'bout yer Vice Presidential Mementoes

Don't take it personal like if I get a bit on the Bigheaded side when I start chattin' up my collection of random doo-dads once in the possession of our country's Second-in-Commands. Any ol' jackass with some Minor OCD tendencies can amass Presidential curios--who doesn't have one of Grover Cleveland's waistcoat buttons?--but it takes a real focused neuroticism (which I'm not afraid to mention, natch) to pursue and acquire the detritus of the men that have occupied Number One Observatory Circle (the Vice's resident, dig?).

Sure, ya might salivate unnaturally when you catch sight of the ruby monocle of Schuylor Colfax--one of Grant's VPs-- which was rumored to have been used exclusively on his many 'fact-finding missions' in the Capital's secret "booty larder" or even Spiro Agnew's yard-long piece of teak wood (referred to by those in the know as both his 'gnawing board' and "the deliverer of comical contusions...complete with teeth marks and scalp remnents) but the one item that I'm most proud of (and the one that the majority of VEEP hobbyists envy) is the playing card (Ace of Spades) that ol' Hubert H. Humphrey used as his tongue scraper when on the road.

Though I'm still puzzled by the alleged sunglasses of George Clinton (VP under both Jefferson and Madison); it could very well be that the E-Bay seller got his Clinton's wrong when he put them up for auction...especially since there's the word "Psychoticbumpschool" written in what appears to be sequins along the top of 'em.

Bah...doesn't really matter...most folk know I'm the shit when it comes to Number Two...wait...

T