Panhandling goes Top Shelf

This evening (after seeing a showing of the film SYRIANA) I was drawn into the following exchange with a panhandler:

Man: Good evening, sir. Can I ask you a question?

Me (sigh): No.

Man: Oh, don't be that way...it's almost the holidays.

Me (sigh squared): Well, sad to say, I don't recognize your holidays; I'm Canadian. Things are different up north.

Man (startled by this before unbeknownst to him 'info' and now derailed ever so slightly from his 'pitch'): Uh...uh...uh..well...are...are Canadians generous?

Me (heh): I can't speak for them all...but I'm not.

Man: That's cool. That's cool. See...

Me (here we go)

Man (continued): I just need Ten Dollars for some soup.

Me (that's one bold fucking bastard, eh?): Ten Dollars? For soup? Right.

Man: It's for...it's for me and my kids.

Me: Campbell's Cream of Whiskey?

Man: Naw...naw...it ain't like that. The Ten Dollars really would be for soup.

Me (heh): If that's the case, let me come with you to buy it. In fact, if the soup is Ten Bucks...shit's gotta be good and, damn, I want to try some.

Man (mulls): Fuck you, Canada.

Exit stage left (with only the hint of wobbles)

T