Rain Gutter Prospecting Results from the Weekend
Dredgin' and Pannin' "gold" just South o' the Eaves

Size 11(!) Converse Chuck Taylor All-Star (black) lacking laces with "Husker Du" scrawled in what appears to be White Out

One feltless tennis ball with a blackened fingernail(?) enbedded in it

Crumpled Andy Capp Sotted Flame Fries bag with three uneaten bits still intact ('flavorless' according to fellow prospector, Reginald 'Sauce Pond' Tulipper)

Either the moistened tail from a coonskin cap OR the jettisoned caudal appendage from an area squirrel

Cracked disc four (of five per the label) from The Complete Recordings of Frank Stallone (the track listings were rubbed out from apparent over-use/shame but one song title seemed to read 'The Vulgar Vulva's Fall from Grace')

Headless Precious Moments figurine entitled 'Quit Shittin' Yerself' from the Children of the Spastic Colon Special Edition

Pudding ('chocolate-y' according to aforementioned prospecting partner) filled gourd

25 pounds of sodden and mildly decomposing leaves

Four Starlings ('maggoty') tied together with a shoelace (possibly from Item #1?)

Boone's Farm Limited Edition Bottle o' Bravery ('saliva-y with a hint of lemon)

No Gold

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