Dear TIP: An excerpt from my forthcoming Advice Column

Dear TIP,

Do you have any advice on how I can keep Astrophysics out of my Non-Astrophysical Workplace? There's a fellow here at work that is CLEARLY one of those damn backyard/garage/attic/shed/whatever faux-Astronomer types and cannot NOT mention (several times a day) his love for Celestial Bodies; dropping references to a White Dwarf during a Business Review or the Oort Cloud over a Sales Pitch to prospective Buyers. This ain't NASA, for Pete's Sake!

Signed,
No Astronaut Pants Here
Akron, Ohio

Dear NAPH,

An easy solution to your troubles!

Step One:

The next time he drops a reference to Protoplanetary Discs or Globular Clusters or even the Adromeda Galaxy, casually steer the conversation to Black Holes. Once he bites on this tasty morsel, move on to:

Step Two:

Point out that you have recently read that, Thanks to the Politically Correct Crowd rife throughout our Society, that Black Hole is no longer the proper nomenclature for these particular Celestial Bodies. Curiosity will get the better of your Amatuer Copernicus which will allow you to seal the deal with:

Step Three:

Matter of factly state that Black Holes are now called Afroles.

Also mention that Disney has renamed their film THE BLACK HOLE to The AFROLE (it would help if you have a Photoshop savvy friend doll-up a fake pic of the renamed movie poster).

T