Some Items from Work Today

Cow-orker: Do you know any Martial Arts?

Me: Yes. I've a black belt in akimbo.

Cow-orker: That's great. Can you show me an Akimbo Move?

Me: Yes (I put my hands on my hips, David Caruso Style--I'm only lacking his Shades of Justice---and stare at him like a menacing Redheaded Dude).

Cow-orker (clearly unimpressed AND clearly unaware of the definition of akimbo): Are there any others?

Me: No. Akimbo is the only Martial Arts Form with exactly One Move.



Later in the morning:

2nd Cow-orker: Hey, look at them pants!!!

Me: ...

2nd Cow-orker: Haven't seen those before!!!

Me (these pants of mine have been in my Pants Rotation for years): ...

2nd Cow-orker (Snaps his fingers and points at me): Nice!

Me: ...



Finally at the End of the Day:

3rd Cow-orker: And who are you?

Me (clearly she is a new employee): A former Gerber's baby.

3rd Cow-Orker: ...

Me: Name's Tony...I'm with Corporate.

3rd Cow-orker: So you're Tony Gerber?

Me (shrugging internally): Sure, why not.

3rd Cow-orker: A pleasure to meet you. I'm Mel.

Me: How's Flo, Vera, and Alice?

3rd Cow-orker: Do they work here?

Me (clearly she is not familiar with Vic Tayback and the rest of the cast of TV's ALICE): Sure, why not.

3rd Cow-orker: I look forward to meeting them; I'm new here.

Me: Really? Well, kiss my grits.

3rd Cow-orker: ...



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