TV Character Showdown One: Mel versus Boss Hogg

Here's the responses I've amassed on what would have been one mighty knuckle-dusting...if they both weren't dead, that is:

Mike D: Straight fight? Mel.

McAfee: Mel would own that fat turd

Matt T.: Mel would slap Vera around until she was wound up --arms flailing, nails clawing, spittle flying-- and throw her onto Hogg, shredding his hat, cigar and suit like a rabid cat in a cuisinart., leaving him standing scratched and bruised in his Dixie flag boxers.

Kensington: Mel would stab that little turd right through the heart with a wooden spoon. The blunt round end first. Mike D. again: Remember. Mel was an army vet. While Boss Hogg was sitting at home with a deferrment snorting lines of barbeque sauce off the naked asses of strippers, Mel was killing an entire battilion of Japanese soldiers on Iwo Jima using nothing but the rusted metal lid of a can of Dinty Moore.

Steve Z.: Mel. One spatula thwack to the head and Hogg is worm food.

 

So, Mel it is.

Thoughts?

T